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Sunday, February 8, 2015

A Mom’s Heartfelt Letter to Her Special Son

Dear Son,

From the very first time that I've ever held you in my arms, I knew then that you were very special. Ever since I introduced you to the world and share to you all the beauty that this life brings, I doubted that you can understand happiness and learn to accept sadness. But I knew that despite your innocence, there is a special space in your heart, and that space belongs to me.

You hardly learned to stand by your own, and I was so thankful that my arms were strong to hold yours. I thought I would never see you standing alone, but one day I saw you made your very first step on your own, my tears fell down and I couldn’t help but hugged you tightly and thanked God that you made another milestone. At 2, I never heard a single word from you, and I told myself that no matter what, I’ll stay beside you, I’ll be your voice whenever you need something, but I want you to know that even you don’t speak, a mom’s heart can always hear the message of your silence.

One day on your 3rd birthday, I heard you say “mama”, then I stopped hoping to hear the same word again and you said “mama” once more, and once again, my teardrops fell that very moment. I couldn’t explain the joy that I felt when I received such gift from you, the time when I stopped hoping.

We’ve spent a lot of struggles in learning because you’re too moody to cooperate, thanks God He gave me a very long patience, and maybe He knew that I really needed it. You hate school so much and God knows how I tried to understand, and even it was too awkward to accompany you in school while taking your exams, but because you asked so, I did it for you son, because that’s how special you are to me and I felt that moment that you really need me.

I don’t mind setting up a meeting with all your teachers and school principals to orient them about your condition, how special you are and how they should treat you. This too shy mom became a brave superwoman because of you and I really thank you for that.

Your siblings grown too fast and you stayed as my baby, not all moms can have the privilege to feel the joy of nursing her baby for extra extended time and I thank you son for making my motherhood more than complete and I love you more for that.

Sometimes you’re being so disrespectful, for those times you feel that anxiety, I want you to know that even I tried to discipline you I never get angry at you. My love for you filled all the 90% of space in my heart that I can no longer fill with other emotions except for sadness. I can’t stop being sad whenever I watch you talking childishly and playing baby toys at your age. This fear is facing a reality that one day; my arms that used to be strong can no longer guide you the same way. I’m really afraid that when my end comes, I need to leave you. I know you hardly trust anybody and I’m really afraid that you’ll feel hatred because people around you couldn’t understand.

Son, I really don’t know when you’re going to learn to understand things, this is why I’m writing this letter to let you know that I did everything to help you experience a normal life, the way you wanted it to be. A decade from now, my strength will weaken and a couple more, I may be gone forever, but my love will always stay. I want you to know that I’m so thankful that God gave you to me. You were my strength that made me do everything I thought I couldn’t. I love you son, thank you for reminding me all the God’s blessings.


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