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Thursday, January 15, 2015

Five Reasons Why You Should not Yell at your Kids

Kids are playful, messy, hard to please, normally fight with their siblings and ignore responsibility. They usually have their own world and if you expect your kids to behave all the time and just sit in the corner, waiting for your command, then you must be living in earlier century. There are no such perfect kids! This is the reason why most parents end up yelling to their kids and I admit, I'm also guilty of it sometimes.

In an article I've read entitled Discipline Without Screaming, yelling at your kids can diminish their sense of security and self-esteem. It occasionally won't be such damaging but it does not help for getting a good behavior. Yelling scares children and it develops their emotional response called "flight or fight" while shutting down their logical thinking (Jim Hutt, Ph.D)

Bad Effects of Yelling to Kids

Yelling does not help – if you think yelling could help disciplining your kids, you are absolutely wrong! When I was just starting to perform a role of a mom, I was very unsystematic, I yell most of the time whenever my son does not behave. I grew up with my noisy mom, she yells at us all the time and she spanks us for committing sins and even mistakes. I don’t blame my mom cause this is how discipline rules in their time and it serves as a learning structure for me, for whatever I am today, I owe it to her.  Things yesteryears cannot be the same in our present generation, if we thought (like I did) that yelling and spanking would still be useful nowadays, well think it twice. What you do to your kids are the things they absorb and later will become their behavior. If you yell, he’ll yell back, if you spank him, he will also do it with his siblings or playmates and you wouldn't want that to happen.

Long Term Effectsan environment filled with loud voices can cripple your child’s mental health.  A child has no choice but to hear because he has no escape. He doesn't have the power to move away, search a positive environment, all he can do is to sit and absorb everything. The negative effects of constant yelling to your kids commonly last forever and it damages the victim’s ought to be normal life.

Confusion - yelling confuses kids; they simply can’t understand the real explanation for anger. It usually causes them to perform slow, develop fear and anxiety.

Emotional abuse – it may sound exaggerated but it’s true, shouting or yelling to children is a form of emotional abuse. Among other effects, verbal abuse can undermine your child's self-esteem, damage his ability to trust and form relationships, and chip away at academic and social skills. In fact, current research shows that verbal abuse of children can be just as destructive emotionally as physical and sexual abuse and puts them in as much risk for depression and anxiety (Health Day)

Destroys parent to kid relationship – if you yell to your kids most of the time, you are destroying your good relationship with your children. You are building your monster like image in your kid’s young mind and I’m sure you wouldn't want that to happen. A little time talking with your children about good behavior and how a disciplined child would have a better future than those who refuse to listen to their parent’s advice is not a hard thing to do. I am a busy mom too, I have a son who has developmental delays that does not cooperate most of the time, but despite all these, I always find time to talk to them, say everything I feel about them, that I’m very thankful that I have them and I’m happy when I see them grow as good individuals and how I feel every time they disobey me. Talk moment like this means a lot to me and to my kids, it’s a form of emotional bonding and we're able to understand each other.

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